Saturday, May 16, 2009

Impatient Musings

Clearly I have more time to write when I'm home ....

So lately (well ok it's not lately it's been awhile now) everyone's engagement photos, weddings, etc and unfortunately it's not helping my patience at all.
So here's a word vomit musing from the mouth of an impatient girl.

Right Now....I have 1 degree, I can be home for a month, away for a week, and back to the east to work, I can take off and travel, I can be lazy all day if I choose, I can indulge myself with an episode of Grey's or The Office, I can take random photos for fun, I can waste time writing in a blog, I can read books in the sun, I can shop, I can buy concert tickets for weeknight concerts in Massachusetts or Hartford and know that I'll figure out a way to get there, I can call home everyday - sometimes more -, I am not entirely self-sufficient and that's OK for now, I can cook when I want - or not when I don't, I can ask for help to get somewhere or stay somewhere and it's ok, I can stay up till 3 just having fun or go to bed at 10 and not worry about getting things done, I can spontaneously go on a day trip, I can tag along on other people's vacations, I can stalk other people's weddings in secret (ha), I can be paid for taking care of children, I can dive into a school and become very involved without concern for other aspects of my life.... the list goes on.

Patience (pā-shəns) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast.

That means I can wait even though sometimes it aches and sometimes it seems like forever because Someday....I will have my own engagement photos, wedding and reception plus honeymoon, Someday I will keep a house clean, cook all the time, get up early for work every morning, pay all kinds of bills, garden, have a dog, and have kids. Someday I will have to plan when I go on vacation or a day trip. Someday isn't that far away so for this moment - today - tomorrow- this week even this year it's my job to enjoy and not wish away. Moments to savor and use up to the very last drop of energy and memory, thoughts and feelings to spill onto blank pages and capture with frames and laughs....not time to count down to or spend hours daydreaming beyond. I have right now and I have someday.....but I have to live and enjoy right now before I get to someday - right?!

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