Well it's 6:15pm on a Friday - when I left school at 5:40, my principal and at least 10 teachers were still in the buildings...pretty impressive. I on the other hand could not stand the damp, sticky, sweaty smell and feel of my classroom for another minute. Don't get me wrong, I am loving every busy, exhausting repetitive second but at some point I have to tell myself to let go. No amount of extensive over planning will guarantee that they can sit crisscross, no massive activities will hold them for 8 hours without restless wiggling, excessive giggles, sporadic spasms (literally....fists pumping wildly for 30secs in the middle of learning time), or refusals to listen. It happens. They are 4 - all but 3 of them belong in PreK and they are tired, like me, but instead of slouching or sighing they freak out and express their exhaustion by tearing about the room with wild animal like howls. Yes.
One slept for 1.5 hours on her knees in her chair, when I gently shook her awake, she wandered about the classroom like a zombie. 2 others refused to hear anything I had to say - went to another room, 1 came back ready 1 not so much. My little Turkish speaking friend was mean, wild, loud, and knew "be quiet" as it came from my mouth a couple hundred times, specifically addressed at her with drastic hand motions and acting. My friend who speaks Spanish rapidly punched and kicked people, as I yelled in his direction "NECESITAS SER UN BUEN AMIGO O NO PUEDES VENIR A ESCUELA" really now? Because really most of them are not good friends but how else do I explain that making guns out of unifix cubes or punching friends in line is unacceptable?
And Tantrums? where in my education courses did we learn effective strategies for children who squeal like stuck pigs while shaking or kicking their chair, wildly flailing, kicking shoes, screaming louder and longer when you threaten that they can tantrum at recess.
My goal of calling every parent with something positive has not happened - so this weekend I endeavor to write a note for every child with a positive statement....even if it is that they are eager to share ideas - READ: never shuts up.
I love them, I love their voices when they say Miss Stowe look! Miss Stowe I missed you! Miss Stowe when do you go home? But if someone gets out of their seat or repeatedly says my name - making it louder and more syllables every time, only because they are tattling on the kid across from them who is using a blue crayon instead of green, I might throw the crayon .... at a kid? Probably not. But I would throw it.
And the beads - oh my goodness the beads. I am going to ask moms to use felt or foam beads from now on. Ridiculous.
My one precious delight looks at me through her beads as she sits cowboy style in her chair and scoots across the room. "No, I don't want to miss recess." "OK then follow my directions." "No." "Well then you are choosing to miss recess because you have 2 choices here - follow directions or stay inside to practice following directions during recess." shakes head. Oh my gosh. 10 times during rest time I said her name - asking her to close her mouth and put her head down. 10 seconds after I said her name, she looked directly at me and began to talk to the person across the room from her.....the WHOLE class was resting...but not this friend. She loves to look defiantly at you through her silly pink beads and do what you least want her to do. Her mom and I will be having a chat this weekend because I am at a loss.
One 4 year old hacks like an old woman - obediently uses her elbow but gross! One pees her pants several times a day and doesn't want to change because she is afraid her mom will be upset. One can never remember where her seat is. One speaks strange mumbled words while I am talking. Another hums incessantly. Two are missing their front teeth - pulled out - adorable. One insists on leaning on me at all times.
22 of them consume 110% of my energy, time, love, and patience on a daily basis.
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